Dear Reader,

As facilitators, we often talk about the importance of creating space. But how do we balance sharing our own voice with making room for others? And how can we tell when our contributions invite or unintentionally silence those around us?

This is where the concepts of “crowding in” and “crowding out” come into play. Inspired by economic theory, these terms initially describe how public spending can either attract private investment or decrease it.

Thomas Lahnthaler recently sparked my curiosity on this topic through one of his LinkedIn posts. Thomas shares unconventional ideas, but, as he pointed out, the real magic happens in the comments because he creates a space for others to engage. People respond with their own insights, share resources, and participate in lively, asynchronous discussions that enrich the original post.

Thomas doesn’t disappear or make himself small—his presence is clear. Yet, he doesn’t dominate the conversation. He sets the tone, then allows others to step in. This is a perfect example of crowding in.

On the flip side, crowding out happens when someone’s words, actions, or thoughts take up so much space that others feel there’s no room to contribute. Have you ever been in a community where no one speaks up? This often happens when the facilitator, either consciously or unconsciously, monopolises the conversation.

Sometimes, the facilitator might be over-committed to keeping things moving or afraid of silence, not trusting that someone else will step in. People are attuned to whether they’re invited to speak or if it feels safer to stay quiet.

When no one contributes, it could be because they don’t feel there’s room, or worse, they may not feel psychologically safe enough to share. It’s not necessarily the facilitator's misbehaviour—it can simply be that no one has yet experienced how their contributions will be received, or they’re unsure of what’s expected of them.

This can be a common pitfall for even the most well-intentioned moderators. There are three ways to ensure we're crowding in rather than crowding out:

Create Space and Pause: Silence can feel uncomfortable, but it’s an invitation for others to step in. Intentional pauses give people breathing room to contribute. Especially in asynchronous conversation spaces such as App groups, members need more space to respond as they are usually busy.

Create Clarity and Balance Structure with Flexibility: Be clear about how participants can engage and what the group’s purpose is. Establish boundaries for what’s not appropriate, but leave enough flexibility for spontaneity. Too much structure can stifle contributions, while too little leaves people unsure of their role.

Model Vulnerability: Thomas’ shares personal experiences and reflections that he offers as food for thought without expecting them to be taken as general truth. He leaves room for others to add, expand, or challenge his experience. This signals that there’s more to be said, inviting participation.

Facilitation is not about taking up less space—it’s about using your presence to create more space for others. By crowding in, we foster environments where collective intelligence can thrive, and everyone has the opportunity to contribute their unique insights.

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🎙 Meanwhile, on the podcast…

A conversation is a delicate dance between two people. From one to the other, stories slowly unravel, surprises are met, ideas come to life, and life is learnt as words flow freely between us. But to make a conversation great, we must relish the silences, the questions, and the spaces in between - because it is only with curiosity and presence that we can take the conversation to places we never imagined.

This week, I am in conversation with me, myself, and I for a special solo episode on the lost art of conversation. As a facilitator, podcast host and experienced conversation partner, I share my wisdoms, tips, non-negotiables, and ingredients for a great conversation.

I hope the irony is not lost on you!

Find out about:

• My 3 rules for effective question asking
• Why the follow-up question is the most important question of all
• The beautiful importance of silence in conversations
• The power of the word ‘and’ to open the door to a new perspective
• Why do we stop having great conversations with our loved ones?

🔖 Click here to download my 1-page summary of the show.​

🎧 Click here to listen to the interview​

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And for this one, I recommend watching the recording on Youtube​ :)

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🎡 Join the NDB Festival

A Global Online Event to Refuel Your Creativity

Join us for the final edition of the NDB Festival! Over 48 hours, facilitators worldwide will come together to explore bold, new approaches. 22 workshops and 6 dedicated networking opportunities. Don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn, connect, and push the boundaries of facilitation—because after this, there won’t be another NDB Festival!

​Click here to find out more.

Early Bird Tickets are available until October 30th

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That's all from my side. I hope you enjoyed this week's reflections and hope to see you at the Festival!

Myriam

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